Bulgaria: Moussaka Moussaka Moussaka!

I know. There aren’t lions in Bulgaria, this Disney flick has nothing to do with this baked meat thingy known as moussaka, and this movie is a bagillion years old… but when we made this, all that went through my head was this scene. THANKS, POP CULTURE.

Stepping away from Africa and firmly back into the Balkans, let’s focus rightly on Bulgaria!

This is at the National Museum of History, Boyana Church branch in Sofia – thanks, bulgariatravel.org!

We both have a fondness for this part of the world. For one, it’s delicious. You’ve got some heavy Slavic and Turkish influences—we’re talking Ottoman Empire, here, and we love that stuff. Eat. It. Up.

As a side, non-food-related note, the total population of Bulgaria is around 7.4 million… which is, um, about a million less than NYC. This stuff blows my mind, reminding me once again: NEW YORK IS NOT NORMAL.

But I digress. MOUSSAKA! This is a pretty simple dish with a long history—Turkish, Greek, Balkan. There are variations, regionally: the Balkan version we’re using involves potatoes where others may use eggplant, and is served layered and warm. Some versions serve it chilled—which actually makes the most sense since the word comes from the Arabic for “chilled.” But we’re doing this BULGARIAN-STYLE.

It’s delicious warm, and served with a nice Balkan salad.

Note: don’t be shy with the seasoning–with all the potato and ground meat, it can easily turn out bland. DON’T LET THAT HAPPEN TO YOU. Taste it! Shake some more on there if it’s not tripping your trigger!

the stuff

2 lb potatoes, cubed (small, for easy cooking!)
½ cup oil
1 lb ground meat – we used beef
1 tsp tomato paste
1 onion, chopped
2 tbsp paprika
~1 tbsp salt
~1 tsp pepper
½ tsp grated nutmeg
3 eggs
½ cup milk
1 cup plain yogurt (Greek!)
thyme (a few sprigs of fresh or a sprinkling of dried)

the moves

*preheat oven to 350

1. Heat the oil in a large pan, and add the beef, tomato paste, onion, paprika, nutmeg, salt & pepper. Cook until the meat is browned then take off the heat.
2. Spread half the potatoes in a baking dish, spread the meat over, then top the meat with the rest of the potatoes.
3. Bake in the oven for about 45 minutes. While that’s doing its thing, beat the eggs, milk, and yogurt together. What the heck—add some salt & pepper & thyme.
4. After ~45 minutes or when the liquid from the meat in the baking dish seems pretty bubbly, pour the yogurt stuff over the potatoes, covering it all.
5. Continue baking until the potatoes are tender, another 15-ish minutes probably—making sure the yogurt doesn’t actually BURN (turn the heat down if it’s getting too brown!).
6. Let cool ~10 minutes or more (if you can find the patience… I know we have little to none), then dish out and SHOVE INTO YOUR FACE.

Now, I saved no visual evidence of this meal… whoops! So, you’ll get this photo from the internet that resembles about what ours looked like:

thanks, just-eat. co.uk!

thanks, worldatlas.com!

azerbaijan is difficult to pun, so instead let’s just make yogurt soup? i guess?

My brain may not have a lot going for it at the moment, but I assure you Azerbaijan actually has a lot going for it food-wise. Also folk-dancing wise, which I find fascinating. The traditional stuff is amazing, complete with outstanding costumes and mustaches!! But even plain-clothed folks get into it. Because I’m easily distracted, check out how Azerbaijani get down:

thanks, natgeo.com!

Fun Fact: I posted this picture on Social Media™ because I enjoyed it so much when we were actually making this dish and I was finding out neat stuff about Azerbaijan, and my Good Friend was all like, “nbd but I have stood in that exact spot before because I’m truly the coolest and hang out in eastern Europe all the time, and also you miss me because I’m a loser (not at all) who lives in DC instead of near you,” and sent me photographic evidence:

thanks, WBS!

Jerk. (Not at all.)

But seriously: Azerbaijan is unique in that it has just about everything food wise, because this ONE country contains 9 out of 11 climate zones. IMAGINE THE PRODUCE. (Imagine it!)  So to honor that, we decided to make dovga, which is a yogurt soup (new territory for my cooking, yay!) freaking jam-packed with herbs and greens. I mean, you don’t HAVE to be crazy-go-nuts and use every herb ever, but… why wouldn’t you?!? Granted, the labor in preparing all the herbs is a little obnoxo, but if you throw on some tunes, make really bad puns (“I dill believe we’ll finish soon! HYUK!”), maybe dance a little… it’ll be done in no time. But you can whittle down the list and still have a yummy soup.

This can easily kick it as a veg dish suitable for your strange friends that don’t eat meat, but naturally it just didn’t feel quite right ‘til we threw some balls of meat in. The choice, of course, is up to you (GO WITH THE BALLS OF MEAT).

the stuff

le soup
1 qt (32 oz!) plain yogurt
1 qt (32 oz!) water
½ cup short grain rice
1 egg, beaten [insert poor joke about being mean to the egg here]
1 bunch scallions, chopped
1 bunch cilantro, chopped
1 bunch dill, chopped
1 bunch parsley, chopped
1 bunch arugula, roughly chopped
1 bunch spinach, roughly chopped
½ bunch mint, chopped
pepper
salt

le balls of meat
½ lb ground lamb
1 onion, chopped pretty finely
2 cloves garlic, minced
pepper
salt
smidge-o-oil

the moves

le soup

1. Put the yogurt in a large pot. Add beaten egg and water and mix well.
2. Add rice.
3. Over med-high heat, bring it all to a boil. Here’s the thing with this part: you simply have to stand over it, stirring, basically the entire time you’re waiting for it to boil. You don’t want it to get a separated and blobby and gross.
4. As soon as a coupla bubbles fight their way to the surface, throw in ALL the herby deliciousness, and pepper to taste.
5. Simmer for about 15 minutes, uncovered, stirring super super frequently. Seriously, just give in and camp out next to the stove. Maybe get some tunes going, do a little dancing… that’s what I did.
6. When the rice is done cooking, SO ARE YOU. Throw in a little salt, to taste, and DONEZO. (Unless you want to add meatballs, in which case look right below for some magic!)

Two quick things:
Thing 1 – This can be served warm OR cold. So get crazy & do what feels good.
Thing 2 – Don’t salt during the cooking process as it can make the yogurt funky (aka curdle) and that’s no fun for anyone.

le balls of meat

1. In a bowl, combine the lamb with onion, garlic, salt & pepper and mix well. Just get in there with your hands, savory meat between fingers… YUM, right?!?
2. Form small balls—I recommend the small size so each easily fits on a spoon with some soup. Thinkin’ ahead.
3. In a pan, heat up a smidge-o-oil med-high and quickly sear your little balls (teehee)—this worked better for me in terms of keeping them formed.
4. Finish cooking your little balls (teehee) by adding some water or broth, ‘til just cooked through.
5. Throw ‘em in your dovga and SHOVE IT ALL IN YOUR FACE.

thanks, caspianttc.com!